Yoga is changing and evolving on a grand scale in the West. What once was a spiritual practice of the mind, body and soul in a traditional world is becoming known for tight bums and brightly colored yoga clothes in a capitalist world. My questions for myself and other yogis are: Is there a balance? Can we keep the integrity of traditional yoga in a capitalist society? I don't know if we can answer these questions, but here is my exploration. 

Being born into capitalist societies can make it hard not to fall victim to a capitalist mindset. One must constantly evalutate ourselves, our world and our consumption to remind ourselves that we don't NEED most of the things that people are trying to sell to us, including in the yoga market. The feelings of wanting more, bigger, better, shinier, brighter to make ourselves look better, for status or whatever the reason....it's meaningless, really. What do you really need to practice yoga, be happy and live? Answer: yourself.

Let's begin by evaluating yoga in the West today and how I, myself, play into the capitalist yoga world. 

Physical Beauty: In the West, many people see yoga as a form of exercise for the body only. We are striving to achieve this ideal beauty or body, also sold to us by a capitalist world. More traditionally, yoga was keeping the body and organs healthy through our Asanas (poses), pranayama (breath) and meditation. It wasn't about how the body looked, but more how you felt, how you connected your mind and body. A bonus of yoga is that your body will change, become stronger, longer and more fit. Personally, I wouldn't say I do yoga for a better body rather a healthier, active body. In addition, this has to be said, my genetics lend to a smaller, thinner frame. Remember, all body types and sizes have their ups and downs, curves and lack there of :) No matter your body size or type, love yourself inside and out. I practice physical yoga because I feel that I am cleansing my body of toxins, infection and potential disease through a clearer mind, balanced breath and gently opening up my joints and massaging my body through Asanas. I live a happier, healthier lifestyle mentally and physically through yoga.

Social Media: In the west, yoga has an image that is young, mostly white, thin female frames in which we see on the internet and social media....mine not excluded. I refuse to feel guilty about this, as far as my figure and demographic fitting this image because I know my intentions are true and pure. I know yoga is all-inclusive no matter size, race, age, income, religion, sex, sexual orientation, health status, gender identitity, nationality, ethnicity. Yoga is non-judgemental, a welcoming practice for all to look inward and become better connected through our mind, body and soul. My classes are the same, everyone is welcome. I hope that my personality, my class environment excudes my feelings on this. I believe they do because if your intentions are pure, so is your environment and class. Now, do I have pictures of my yoga on social media? Yes, I have facebook page, this website and (just recently started) an Instragram account. Is this contributing to our westernized image of yoga? Yeah, probably. Do I feel narcissistic when posting photos of myself and my yoga? Yes, definitely. Why do I do it? I participate in social media for a couple of reasons. First of all, I want to share yoga with my guests and social media helps expose yoga to a larger population. I am not independently wealthy, I can't trade my services for goods in this day and age here in Malmö, so I share my yoga practice for a reasonable fee. I advertise through social media. Secondly, in particular Instragram, I enjoy incorporating new sequences that are shared and participating in physical challenges that are set up by other users. These are things I work into my daily practice, inspiration for what I can do, confidence building in yoga and my life, many things. I think with social media, it comes down to intention and how and what you use it for. 

Yoga Products: We are creating and selling more and more yoga products in the West than ever before, which include mats, props, pants, tanks, clothes with yoga looking emblems, new "yoga socks" and much more that I probably don't know about. The west has created a million dollar industry out of yoga. I see this as troubling because with unneeded products we create class systems, more limited access to yoga (or perceived limited access) and mainly we are selling out a spiritual practice. Yoga is open, honest, non-competitive, non-possessive and all you need is within yourself already. You don't need cool yoga pants to have a better connection between mind and body. How do I play into this aspect of yoga in the West? Well, I have an amazing mat that I use at home with a life time guarantee, so you know it wasn't cheap. I could practice yoga on a towel, but I do have a mat for comfort and ease on my body while practicing. I don't buy "yoga clothes" that sponsor the big yogis of social media or any branded yoga clothes really. I purchase my yoga clothes in the same way I purchase my everyday clothes, mostly at second hand shops. I don't know the brands and I don't care, if it's my style, comfortable and reasonably priced that is enough. Note: I am not a huge shopper, I hate to spend lots of money on clothes, but there is the occasional shopping therapy session which always takes place at second hand stores and I am usually satisfied with a couple items. 

Yoga Prices: Wow, the prices of yoga has gone up dramatically in the West. This makes it very difficult to practice yoga if you don't have the financial means. When I lived in Asia, my yoga classes were between 5-10 USD and in major cities in the west, including mine, classes are 20-25 USD. Now, if you buy monthly passes, you can dramatically reduce the price per class, but you have to pay a larger sum upfront and go to more classes per week to see reduced rates. Many studios these days are offering a free class a week which I think is great. I have seen a lot of classes by donation and then there are many volunteer projects in the world for different groups of people that might not have access to yoga or the financial means. This is Karma Yoga, doing something without regard or expectation of what you will get in return. How do I work into this aspect? I offer classes at a cheaper rate than studios, in general. I have attempted to contact different organizations within my city offering my services of teaching yoga to populations that might not have the means or opportunity to practice yoga, but unfortnately, I have not been invited to share my yoga on a volunteer basis. I am looking into yoga projects in different parts of the world to visit for a couple weeks next year and hope to contribute to these organizations on a volunteer basis. 

I believe for traditional yoga to endure Capitalism, we need to stay true to Yogas true intentions. If people want to practice yoga for general exercise, by all means, do so. I hope with this particular intention, that realization of a clearer, quieter mind will open up the idea of yogic practice for the mind, body and soul connection. Yogic practice has a moral code, right and wrong, restraints (yama) and observances (niyama) that I hope as humans we practice. Let's not loose sight of our behavior and actions outside our yoga practice. Yoga is many things, as I have said before, it's non-possessive, non-competitive, honest, pure and happy. Capitalism contradicts many of these things that yoga is, so we just need to find a balance for ourselves and our practice. I have explored my balance with yoga in the West. What is your balance? Yoga is living in the present. Right now, capitalism can be seen as watering down yogic practices. What's in the future we don't know. We must wait and see. 

Comments on my perspective are welcome in the guestbook of my webpage. Thanks for reading and following!

Namaste

Yoga props can be very helpful in your practice whether you are a beginner or advanced seeking new Asanas (postures) or deepening current Asanas. Props can deepen your Asanas without adding extra stress on your joints. They can reduce injury, if used correctly. If you are stressfully holding Asanas, your mind might not be as calm and your body not as relaxed. When your Instructor advises you to soften your shoulders, pull in your navel and 10 other ques for safety and alignment, it might be more difficult if all you are trying to do, at that point, is not collapse onto the floor :) Props can allow you to relax and hold an Asana for longer, thus deepening your practice for your body and mind. In addition, as we move into more challenging Asanas, props can aid us in getting there more comfortably. As we come closer to our goal Asana, we can reduce the props! Exciting! 

That being said about props, we don't always carry around our mats, blocks, straps, blankets and bolsters (round pillows). We may find ourselves on a beach, in a beautiful field of grass, a park or by a lake which seems like a perfect place to practice. We also may plan on attending a beach or park yoga class once a week and wonder what to do about props. 

Here are some ideas for yoga with props on a whim:

Whether or not to have mirrors on the wall while practicing yoga, that is the question? There is no right or wrong answer to this question, better or worse instructor or studio/gym based on mirrors or lack thereof. It's a topic that is brought up a lot between students and instructors. There are good thoughts supporting both sides of this debate. However, when speaking with students, instructors and reading blogs or articles on this topic, I find more support that mirrors can (not always) distract from the foundation and intention of yogic practice. 

My first teaching gig after my Teacher Training Course was at a gym. There were a lot of things going on my my head about the space, the weight room's booming music next door, my Asana sequences, the students levels and lighting, so whether we had mirrors or not was the last thing on my mind. After getting things comfortable in the space, but continually striving for a safe and warm environment, it occurred to me...I can't remember the last time I practiced with mirrors. I still didn't, while teaching I faced my students and my students faced the me and the mirrors. On my own, I practiced in the same space with the mirrors after that to see how I felt and if it changed my own practice. For me, it did change my practice. I wasn't focused on how I felt or relying on my muscle memory as much as looking in the mirror to "check" myself. You almost can't help it, just a quick glance to see where you are at and then hold, oh yeah and breathe! The next class, I took my class to face the wall and explained to them why I was doing it. After class, I asked my students which they preferred and it was a unanimous "mirrors". Hmmm, I thought. So, I took it further and asked my sambo, Victor what he thought since he has practiced both with and without.

The main reason I have heard, read and understand is that with mirrors you can check your posture and correct based on what you see. In addition, you know, based on how it looks in the mirror, that you are doing the Asana relatively correct. A mirror might also give a student more confidence because they can see they are on the right track with the Asana. I understand those thoughts on why one would like to have mirrors in yoga practice. 

I feel it is better not to have mirrors in class. Many say, and I agree, that you should feel the position of your body and use muscle memory to find the correct position in the Asanas. With an Instructors demonstration, verbal ques and physical corrections, you will come into the correct position. Once there, you are focusing inward on your body, what is active and what is relaxed, your breathe and yourself. While you come into the correct position with mirrors by yourself, you are using outward senses to find it and thinking through it. In addition, maybe you miss small verbal ques from the instructor on what to relax or how something should feel because you are focused on how your body looks. This additional stimulus from the mirrors might not allow us to withdrawal the sense and calm the mind. 

Mirrors can also invite competition into our practice. We are able to see ourselves and others much easier and, at times, can't avoid seeing where everyone is at with their Asana. This could have us striving for the "perfect" Asana rather than focusing on how it feels, what our bodies are telling us and where our breathe is. They can also invite self criticism and distraction, whether it be about the Asana position or something else about your body or appearance. This only creates fluctuations of the mind which can lead to losing focus of our body, mind and spirit. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, our bodies are different and our Asanas and practice will be different too. We are doing yoga to focus inward and on ourselves. I am not suggesting that we are always trying to look at what others are doing, but mirrors definitely send an invitation! 

Small glances in mirrors invite changes in our gaze while in Asanas. Certain Asanas have different places we set our gaze, whether it be skyward, to the tip of our nose, etc, but mirrors take our gaze to another point. We set our focused gaze to develop concentrated intention and concerns withdrawal of senses. 

My opinion against mirrors in a studio is fairly strong, I see, after writing this blog. Just maybe, mirrors are too distracting for me. You can achieve focus, inward thought of body, mind and spirit with mirrors, as well as, withdrawal of senses and calmness of the mind. It all depends on the person. I just find it easier with less stimulus in the room. 

Either way, mirrors or not, yoga is individual and about you. Find what you prefer and go with it, feel it, love it and believe in yourself :) Namaste

I have never been a morning person. Nowadays, I do rise in the 7 o'clock hour, but not really by choice. Whether it be the amount of light Sweden likes to shine in my windows at very early hours or my body is actually sufficiently rested, I am not sure. Either way, I am up, but not trying to move too fast. I like to read the news, check emails, have a coffee and make some breakfast. I am not very motivated to start my yoga practice, but I have been making an effort to do my practice a couple mornings a week. Usually, I practice in the evenings before dinner. My body is more warmed up from the day and it helps me unwind from daily life. Luckily, Mondays and Saturdays, I teach my yoga class in the morning, so two mornings a week are covered. To get another morning practice in at home, I have started doing a couple things to make it less daunting. 

(1) I lay my yoga mat and clothes out the night before. Not only does this minimize what I have to do to prepare in the morning, but it's part of the mental preparation. Then when I wake in the morning, all I have to do is slip on some comfy clothes and step onto the mat. (2) I try and drink a good amount of water before bed which is beneficial in two ways. One, I usually have to wake earlier than my alarm to go to the bathroom in the morning (HA!) and two I feel more hydrated and fresh when I wake up. (3) I keep my expectations reasonable about what I will do in my practice and how long. Morning practices can be stiff and more grueling than evening practices, so don't set yourself up to fail at mornings by choosing the most difficult Asanas. Wake your body up gradually and be at peace with it. In addition, if I need to be getting ready for work a little earlier I might only choose to do 30 minutes of practice in the morning vs. a full hour so I don't feel rushed or compromise my rest. (4) Make sure you are warm when you start, if your home is cold in the morning then try either warmer clothes or a space heater. (5) Remember how good you will feel afterwards! Relish in the fact that you get to start your day with time to yourself with yourself! 

Usually, my personal morning practices consist of lots of stretching, Sun Salutations (5 times), pranayama and relaxation. There are many variations of sun salutations, so you can go light on your practice if you want. If time allows, I practice some other Asanas too. Otherwise, I practice again in the evening. The great thing is, if something comes up and I don't have time to get my evening practice in, I have already given some time to myself and my yoga in the morning. My morning classes that I teach are more complete with a warm up, sun saluations and the sequence of Asanas that I have planned, so at least 2 days a week I get a full morning practice. 

Just like anything else, if you start a routine, it only gets easier! I love how much more awake and ready for the day I feel after my morning yoga too. It's usually followed by some chilling music to groove to while making breakfast for my love and I! A beautiful way to start the day!

We could fill in that blank with a lot of words, but today we are talking about Asanas, your yoga positions. When surfing the net about yoga or looking at pictures, we see the perfect bodies holding the most perfect positions. First and foremost, we must remember that yoga and our Asanas are not a competition. They are a tool we use to help connect our body, mind and soul through yoga. Secondly, we all start somewhere and we need to remember to look back at where we started and to where we have come. This not only includes our physical body, movement and abilities, but our mind and our soul. The time we have started to take for ourselves and connecting with our inner self. The relaxation and quieting of the mind that has come from our practice which will lead us to a happier life. 

The thought behind this blog came from looking at different partner Asanas while preparing for a wonderful class with my life partners Mom and her friends. I thought it would be fun to do some partner work with the women and needed to do a little research on how to adapt the asanas I currently teach to a partner style. Now, I surf the net a lot on different articles about yoga and always run into amazing photos, but I didn't realize until that night that this could be very intimidating to other yogis and frustrating when trying to achieve the perfect pose. Then I realized, in myself, that I also may be competing with these photos. I took a step back to see something I didn't even realize I was doing. I assume, just like other media out there with perfect bodies and clothes, that we can accidently fall into this competion or striving to be perfect based on what is "ideal" and shown to us on a daily basis. As we have been told time after time, love yourself, your body and your abilities. 

Just because your Asanas aren't perfect or don't look like the pictures or your Yoga Instructor, remember it's a practice for yourself, within yourself. It doesn't have to look like that, it must look like you. It must look like your time out of the busy schedule, your focus and your connection between mind, body and soul. Let's also think about the progress that we can make in deeping our Asanas and becoming more flexible. My yoga practice has enabled me to come into positions that I have never done in my life, such as Hanumanasana or the splits. It took me 30 some years ;) to get there and a very dedicated yoga practice. There are other Asanas that I don't know if physically I will ever be able to achieve, but that is ok. I will continue my practice and appreciate how far I have come and the benefits of my yoga. Another aspect to look at is our bodies limitations, whether it be from prior injury or our everyday life that has limited mobility somewhere in our body. One area I have a hard time with is my shoulder and arm flexibility. This prevents me from coming to full Asanas at times or I have to modify the Asana to work for me. Really, it's no problem, many Asansas can be modified to work with your body. I do more stretches and warm ups for the shoulders and arms to try and work on these areas. In my classes, I offer the original Asana and my modification. I show the original Asanas hand/arm position usually by demonstrating on a student. The two hand and arm positions I have photos of are arm positions from different Asanas that I have a really hard time coming into. The photo to the left, I simply hold as best I can or use a towel between both hands. The other position to the bottom right, I usually go for a simple hand clasp behind the back. There will always be Asanas or positions that you would rather not do, but it's important to try and breathe through it. Over time, it will get easier or that is what I tell myself! 

Next time you are surfing the net or in a yoga class thinking "I could never do that" or "I don't look like that", just remember your progress in your practice. Appreciate what your body can do and how good you feel aftewards. Look forward to your physical practice and achieving new depths of your practice for yourself. For new yogis, remember we took those shoes off and hit that mat for the first time too. From a fellow Yogi and Instructor, we are here to encourage and help in your yoga journey! Namaste.

I went to an Ashtanga Yoga Workshop last weekend, March 21st - 23rd. It was lead by Olle Bengtström out of Göteborg, Sweden who started the first Ashtanga Yoga School in Göteborg! The workshop was held at the Falun Yoga House. I arrived on Friday night for the introduction to the workshop. By the way, the workshop was all in Swedish. If you don't know already, I am studying Swedish at the moment and have really come a long way, but understanding and speaking is the most difficult for me. Luckily, I had a great teacher and am very familiar with all the subjects we covered in the workshop. It is always good to refresh yourself, your practice and be open to different perspectives. So, we started the workshop off with an introduction of ourselves to the group, some opening singing and invocations followed with discussion on the philosophy of yoga. Some of you might be skeptical about the singing part, but it's stating our intentions and appreciation of our practice, the mind, body and soul. It was a wonderful start to the workshop and left everyone ready for the next morning. Saturday morning we arrived and started a refresher of the Ashtanga sequences of Asanas, Olle style. He has great knowledge of position, form and the ways of moving in and out of Asanas. The group was enthusiastic and engaged. We broke for lunch which was included in the workshop. We had a wonderful lentil soup made by one of the owners of the studio. Amazing! I don't know what it is, but with this workshop and with my teacher training I have had some of the best food! It seems, so far, either yogis are amazing chefs or have partners who are! If you don't know, my partner is a Chef ;) After lunch, we resumed for some more physical practice and finished with a short meditation! One thing I experienced during one of the meditations was the energy and breathe of the group. At one point, our breathes were synchronizing, my mind was quiet, but with a faint conciousness to our breathe. The sound was moving in and out, all around, like the wind blowing on a relaxation song. We were making the music with our energy and breathe. I struggle to explain this experience because sometimes my yoga expriences are indescribable, similar to the flood of tears during relaxation blog. Sunday ended with doing our own practice and pointers and tips from Olle and the studio owners! It was a great experience, from the yoga to meeting new and interesting people, sharing something that we love. I can't wait until my next workshop!

Yoga can come into your life during the good times and the bad. We read about people turning to yoga when there is emotional turmoil in their life and after sustaining injury who are immediately hooked when they see how yoga can positively effect them. Sometimes, people don't know yoga is an option for difficult periods in their life which is part of the reason I feel so fortunate to be able to spread the word and practice of yoga to others. Yoga can be therapuetic to the mind and body, it can be life changing. Although I didn't come into yoga at a particularly difficult time in my life, emotionally or physically, yoga has definitely helped me through the path of life. I move more confident, more graceful and more calm because of it. The first period in my life that I look back on and am so thankful that I practiced yoga was in Malaysia. I was living in Penang, Malaysia teaching English. It's a touristy island, warm, sunny and beautiful, but it has it's downfalls. There is and has been a rise in motorbike purse/bag snatches, where someone comes by on a motorbike and swipes your bag from under your arm. It's a theft, so not a violent crime, but the motion of the bike can have devastating effects. I have read about a 60 year old woman dying from hitting her head on the curb when she fell after the theft, a woman in my yoga class broke her arm and many other cases with similar outcomes. It can be frightening. This coupled with the fact that I walked home at least 3 nights a week from my teaching center down a dark and desolate road really got to my nerves. If I was out for dinner in town, I would have to take the bus home and walk the same desolate, dark road home. I felt a little trapped there. A vehicle definitely would of been nice. There were other factors that played into this fear with me, living alone as a woman, walking on dark streets at night, the lack of punishment for crimes against women in Malaysia. These are things that haven't really affected me while living and traveling in other countries alone, but for some reason there was a greater fear at work here. My yoga practice helped me feel stronger physically and mentally. I meditated a lot with different mantras (chants) to reaffirm positive feelings and attempt to wash away the fears I had. I focused on the positive things in my life, the peace I have within and the reality that things happen in life. Yoga kept me from becoming completely paranoid and paralyzed in Penang. 

Yoga in South Korea was a totally different situation and I wasn't in emotional dispare. It brought me into the community more with Korean woman in my neighborhood. I would attend my yoga class and visit the sauna aftewards. It was more of a feeling being part of the community there which can be nice when you are a foreigner in a new land. It was also a cultural learning experience for me and the women I was interacting with. Although I was welcomed in my yoga class, a different relationship came between my classmates and I, the waygook (foreigner). We had a bond, a commonality of yoga where we could start an otherwise non-existent relationship. This followed me to the sauna after class as well. While many locals were welcoming of foreigners, saunas were a traditional thing. Some Koreans didn't welcome the sight of a foreigner in this more private, safe setting. Note: saunas are completely naked, so all is exposed. With my girlfriends and I, as foreigners, it was usually a difference in having tattoos, piercings or different grooming technics, again not always looked upon favorably. Over time, strange looks or cold shoulders ceased, people realized we are all there for the same reason, to relax, to enjoy the Korean sauna and chat with girlfriends in a womens only sauna. After about 2 months, guards started to drop and one of the Korean woman in the sauna started a conversation with me. From then on, I was welcomed with smiles and a head nodd in acknowledgement. This came from my yoga class, becoming a part of the community and having a common ground. 

Finally, we come to Sweden. Sweden has been a rollercoaster of emotions from intense and deep love for my partner to insatiable feelings of loneliness. Yoga and meditation has helped me cope and calm my mind reliquishing these feelings (of loneliness, not love ;) Whether I am frustrated about living in a small town that has one bank open Mon - Fri, 12:00 - 15:00 and doesn't accept deposits of cash or just feeling down about the lack of job opportunities because I am not fluent in Swedish, YET, I do yoga or meditate or both to bring me up. It's amazing how clearing my mind and massaging my body can bring my mood up. Since I have moved to Salen, yoga has also offered me new opportunities in my career also. It has given me inner peace and an outlet to share this with others. You don't have to teach yoga for yoga to change your life, but it's just one more life changing effect yoga has given me. I am thankful everyday for this. I am sure my life partner is too :) Namaste!

I have been working on Pincha Mayurasana (shown left) for a little more than a month now. I was inspired to come into this Asana by a friend who said she thought it was a great Asana and she wanted to be able to execute it! I thought, after review of the Asana, I can probably do that....well, it wasn't as easy as anticipated. Although I can come into a similar pose, Sirsasana (shown below), Pincha Mayurasana required much more strength.  I needed more strength in my arms and shoulders. So, I set out to practice other Asanas that I thought would prepare me, such as Sirsasana (headstand, below), Uttihita Chaturanga Dandasana (plank pose), Purvottanasana (upward plank), Adho Mukha Svanasana (downward dog). You can start practicing this Asana against a wall rather than free standing as well. I choose to practice free standing from the start. At first, I had problems balancing and keeping my legs up, my legs would just go all the way over after I kicked up. Slowly, but surely I was able to control my legs and balance the more I practiced and the more strength I built up. Then it was a matter of shoulder and arm strength which didn't allow me to hold the Asana for more than 5-10 seconds. Not to mention, practicing this Asana is tiresome. I was practcing this Asana last in my daily yoga routine and then I realized this probably wasn't the most productive time. I started doing my warm ups, sun saluations (a salute to the sun with a common sequence

of Asanas) and then went directly to practicing Pincha Mayurasana. This way I wasn't so tired from all the other Asanas in my routine. I also made sure to come into a restorative yoga pose before and after practicing Pincha Mayurasana. Restorative poses give your body and mind time to rest and reset. I usually lie on my back, legs about shoulder width apart and my arms out a little from my body. My palms are facing the sky and my feet are relaxed falling to the side naturally. I stay here for a 30 seconds to a minute, breathing through my nose deeply and slowly. I am pleased to say that I can come into Pincha Mayurasana, but there are some things I need to work on with my body position. I need to have a straight line from my elbows to my feet. My shoulders cave a little right now, so when I am practicing I try to pull my shoulders up and away from my hands. I am working on moving my head from looking at the floor to looking through my arms, so there will be a straight line from my head to toes. It can be difficult because when you are moving your head you are shifting your balance. Your legs have a tendency to want to go all the way over, so you must find the balance again. I am also working on holding the Asana for longer periods of time. Hopefully, in the next month I can come into this Asana with better body alignment!!

What are you working on right now? Any comments or chat about what you are working on can be left in my Guestbook!

There are restraints in our life, mental and physical, that can help calm the mind. This can bring you to a happier and healthier life! The first being nonviolence in action, thought and word. Many of us are nonviolent in our daily lives physically, but we also need to consider our words and our thoughts. Sometimes, we don't realize our words can be hurtful or they may come out the wrong way. It's important to think about what you are saying to others to avoid accidental, hurtful words. If there is an urge to purposefully say something hurtful to someone, let's think about the aftermath of these words, where will it lead you and the reciever of those words. Are these words or the way you say them productive? Possibly, these words can come back to haunt you in the form of guilt. In addition, you might lose this person in your life. If you don't want someone in your life, there are more productive and less guilty ways of ending relationships. After or before words, we have thoughts. It's important to look at our thoughts and keep them violence free. Look at any violent thoughts you might have, just observe and recognize them. 

Nonviolence in all parts of our life, physical and mental, can free the mind of guilt, regret and low self-esteem. Without these negative activities of the mind, your mind can become calmer and your life happier!  Nonviolence is 1 of 5 restraints observed by Ashtanga Yoga practitioners.